It’s a strange contradiction of our time: we’re busier than ever, yet more bored than ever. We have endless entertainment at our fingertips, yet often feel unfulfilled and disconnected. Our days are crammed with tasks, yet our souls feel starved. What gives?
More than a century ago, Arnold Bennett reflected on this dilemma in a chapter titled "Tennis and the Immortal Soul." Though he was writing in an age before smartphones and Netflix, his central insight remains startlingly relevant: we often waste our best energies on trivial amusements while neglecting the care of our inner life.
Today, we’ll unpack that insight and explore how modern distractions—especially those disguised as leisure—can hijack our potential for deeper meaning. We’ll also explore what it means to cultivate a soul-nourishing life in the digital era.
1. When Leisure Becomes an Escape, Not a Refill
There’s nothing inherently wrong with leisure. In fact, research has shown that engaging in regular rest and recreation improves mental health, reduces stress, and boosts creativity. But not all leisure is created equal.
Consider this: after a long, draining day, you sit down to unwind and end up binging five episodes of a mediocre series on autopilot. You get up feeling dull and unsatisfied, not refreshed. That’s because passive, unintentional consumption isn’t the same as restorative rest.
Modern leisure often mimics the symptoms of rest—stillness, disengagement, escape—but lacks its nourishing effects. We go for what’s easy, not what’s enriching.
According to a 2023 Nielsen report, the average adult spends nearly 4.5 hours a day on their smartphone. That’s over 60 entire days per year. What are we exchanging for that time?
For me, that question hit hard when I caught myself checking my phone first thing every morning. Not emails or texts—just Instagram. I wasn’t even enjoying it. I was just... there. Like a habit I didn’t remember forming. One day I timed myself and realized I spent 47 minutes scrolling before getting out of bed. That’s nearly an hour of life, gone before breakfast.
2. The Tragedy of Spiritual Neglect
Bennett’s use of the term “immortal soul” may sound antiquated, but its essence is deeply modern. Your soul, in today’s language, could be interpreted as your core self—your values, your passions, your inner life.
We pay careful attention to our health, careers, and image. But what about our interiority? Our sense of wonder, meaning, and purpose?
In my coaching experience, I’ve found that many people begin personal development journeys not because they want to be more productive, but because they feel spiritually bankrupt. They’ve achieved much—but they feel little.
They’ve substituted vitality for validation. Depth for dopamine.
And they realize, painfully, that something essential has been left behind.
I once worked with a young lawyer named Camille. She had just made partner at her firm, but during our second session she broke down in tears. “I haven’t read a novel in four years,” she said. “Not one. I used to write poetry. I can’t even remember how it felt.”
3. The Cost of Shallow Stimulation
Every ping, like, and scroll might feel harmless. But cumulatively, these micro-distractions create a psychological toll. We train our brains to crave novelty over depth, convenience over connection, and entertainment over engagement.
Neurologist Dr. Andrew Huberman explains that dopamine-driven behavior loops are being reinforced constantly through platforms designed to capture attention. Over time, our tolerance increases, leading us to seek more stimulation for less satisfaction.
This is not just a productivity issue. It’s existential.
When our free time is hijacked by low-effort pleasure, we lose the very experiences that build identity, wisdom, and joy—reading something profound, writing something meaningful, sitting with silence, or creating something new.
I felt this in a deeply personal way during the pandemic. At first, like many, I turned to shows and social media as an escape. But by month three, I noticed I was losing interest in everything else—music, cooking, even writing. It was like the edge of life had dulled. I had to actively rebuild my focus and my curiosity.
4. Reclaiming Time for the Soul
The solution isn’t to renounce leisure or reject fun. It’s to elevate our definition of leisure—to see it as time that should serve our wholeness.
Start by asking: What kind of rest makes me feel alive again?
For me, it’s walking at dusk while listening to jazz. Reading philosophy slowly, with pen in hand. Gardening with my children. None of these are efficient. But they are nourishing.
Here are a few practical strategies to integrate meaningful leisure:
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Digital Sabbaths: One day a week with no screens.
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Creative Hours: Reserve one hour a week to make something, just for the joy of it.
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Slow Reading: Choose a book that challenges you, and give it unhurried attention.
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Soul Dates: Once a week, do something that feeds your spirit, not your resume.
I started my “soul dates” on Sunday mornings. No laptop. No chores. Just me, a notebook, and sometimes a sketchpad. I don’t always know what I’ll do, but I always feel better afterward. It’s like catching up with a friend I forgot I had—myself.
5. The Fear of Depth—and Why We Must Face It
Many people avoid introspection not because they’re lazy, but because they’re afraid. Sitting with your own thoughts can be uncomfortable. Stillness brings up unresolved feelings. Reflection can confront you with life’s big, unanswerable questions.
But the path to peace runs straight through that discomfort.
Carl Jung once said, “People will do anything, no matter how absurd, to avoid facing their own soul.” And he was right. We busy ourselves with the shallow because we fear the deep.
But facing your inner world—your fears, longings, truths—is not indulgent. It’s the foundation of any real transformation.
One of my most transformative periods began with a solo retreat—no phone, no agenda, just long walks, journaling, and silence. The first 24 hours were anxiety-inducing. But then something softened. Memories resurfaced. Insights landed. I came back not with answers, but with clarity.
6. Redefining Productivity to Include the Soul
Most people define productivity in terms of outputs: emails sent, boxes checked, results delivered.
But what if we redefined productivity to include soul health?
What if a truly productive day included:
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30 minutes of reflection
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A walk without your phone
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A deep conversation with someone you love
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Reading that stirs the imagination
What if doing "nothing" was sometimes the most productive thing you could do?
As I’ve grown older—and arguably wiser—I’ve learned that the greatest breakthroughs in my career, creativity, and clarity didn’t come during hustle. They came during stillness.
I started treating reflection like a task. At first, it felt awkward—blocking off calendar time to “do nothing.” But it’s now one of the most sacred parts of my week. My best ideas are born in that quiet space.
Final Thoughts: A Life of Tennis and Soul
Bennett wasn’t against tennis. He wasn’t saying we shouldn’t enjoy life’s simple pleasures. He was cautioning against the imbalance.
You can play tennis. You can scroll TikTok. You can watch Netflix. But if that’s all your life is made of, something sacred gets lost.
In the end, this isn’t a battle between fun and seriousness. It’s a call to balance. To let your leisure include joy, yes—but also reflection. To entertain your mind, but also to feed your soul.
You are more than a task list. More than a consumer. More than a set of goals.
You are, in the deepest sense, a soul seeking meaning.
So next time you feel tired, don’t just reach for distraction.
Reach for what restores you.
And maybe—just maybe—that’s where your truest life begins.